A Star on the Far Horizon

Feeling my heart beating inside my chest
...because it reminds me with every beat God gives me, I'm here for a reason...

Clouds ablaze from a summer sunset
...because they tell me to let "The Son" shine through...

Feeling the heat radiate off brick buildings in the evening
...because it reminds me of my childhood overseas and all that I've come from and through...


...
Funny how we push the simple joys in life to the side because we're so driven in a course of mind. I would encourage you today, stop to remember Why you love what you love, and not think of what and where it will get you tomorrow. It's the simple things that make life worth it along the way, ....Why walk when you can fly?

Take Me to the Place

-4Him-

I remember that first moment
When You made my life complete.
Everything was pure and simple then
It was only You and me.
I remember times together
When the fellowship was sweet,
But it seems at times so far away
It's become a memory.

I got to have You close to me.
I wanna hear You call my name.
Make it like it used to be
Lord, I'm asking You today...

To take me to the place,
The place where I first met You
When the presence of Your love
Was so brand new.
So take me to the place,
The place where You first held Me
Oh when the treasure of my
Hearts desire was You.

After all the years have vanished
And my life begins to fade,
Lord, I pray that You will shelter Me
In the warmth of Your embrace.
For, I long to keep the vision
Of my childhood memories.
So, that I will have a tender heart
Even when I'm old and gray.

So never go away from me.
This will always be my prayer,
Forevermore that I will be
In the shadow of Your care...

So take me to the place,
The place where I first met You
When the presence of Your love
Was so brand new.
So take me to the place,
The place where You first held Me
Oh when the treasure of my
Hearts desire was You.

for Meli

I was reminded of something today. Actually, two things; both pertaining to God, and both pertaining to each other.

1> God is outside of time and sees all of these sunrises and sunsets as an objective timeline, leading up to His glorious return. And as such, He works accordingly (past, present, future).

2> God answers prayer..always. Even the answers we don't want.

Part I: the morning prayer
I got up early-ish this morning so I for sure had time to spend with God. Been slacking terribly lately.. but sleeping on the couch helps because the sun rises on that side of the house and shines in through the glass door.
Anyway, I got my coffee and bagel and began to pray, thanking God for the day and the food and among other things, work. That led me to ask that He save us (my co-workers included) from the heat of the day. We have been working out in the sun from 10am-5pm for the past few days. If you know anything about Missouri weather, you know summers are ruthlessly hot and humid. Heat is one thing.... but the humidity practically drowns you in "fresh air."

Part II: Section 1: the prayer update (answer for the present)
Off to work and loving it. Any morning spent with the Creator is like a walk in the Garden. I to out of the car to feel the sunshine on my already browning skin.. then realized... I'm not sweating yet!
All morning I heard "Wow! it really cooled down!" "It's not too humid today.."
All I could say was "Thank you God for answering prayer."

Part II: Section 2: the prayer update (answer for the past)
The day continued as usual... work projects till lunch and then groups at 1:30. I was on Tower again and we were sending people down pretty quick. During a slower time, my manager and I chatted a bit between Towers, "What do you think of improvements so far, now that we're nearly done?" he asked. I said I thought they were great,but that we needed more staff to help it run smoothly. He smiled when he said, "Maybe I'll have enough leverage to make that request now that we're nearly $8,000 ahead of last year(to date)."
Wow... the coolest part of that is that I had been praying periodically through out this last year for that very thing to happen. Last summer we were behind the previous year's profits, and things seemed to be getting worse, so I just prayed for an increase. My heart smiled at the news. The Lord was smiling on us, it seemed, and answering that one with a "yes."

Part III: an evening prayer
4:40..gotta run. Off to my ministry Thursday Bible Study, with "my boys". Sped home, showered, and got there early enough to check my voicemails. The study went well, only two were present since the third had moved out, ... but,good, Multiple times to talk about the blood sacrifice for the covering of sins and the pointing to Christ. Bittersweetly, I learned that tonight was the last night for the other two as well. I knew they were off to better things and growth, but I will miss them. They were my "firsts" if you will, in leading a Bible Study. In truth, it would be ideal that I would not see them in my study again, because if I did, that means they got in trouble again.
My prayer in closing was that they go and grow in their next steps and that the Lord would draw them closer to Himself in the realization of how much they need Him.

...............................................

Ira Yarbrough

In the morning I prayed... God answered me
Before the morning I had prayed... God answered me
Tomorrow morning I will pray... God will answer me. ..I may have to wait a while, but I know God will answer me.

He is working at all times past, present, and future. He is working in you.
He hears your cry..
just wait,
He'll answer.

Paint, Sweat, and Tears

It was a long and blistering day at work, but I survived. Water and Gatorade is a source of life... just saying. Two groups of 60 people each kept me running a lot on top of Tower. But now home in the AC I'm looking forward to painting again. Got a good head way on one for my friend. I'm pretty excited, but still skeptical about how well she'll like it. I like it. So I think she will.
This week looks pretty good so far... just can't wait for Monday to roll around! Hope to be viewing some new artwork out in SGF. So excited.

Aaahh!!!

And once again, I am alone.
Sisters gone, parents gone, I realize how irresponsible I can be.
When work is more of a social gathering for me, then I know I need to get out of the house more often. But until I get that far I'll enjoy my coffee and bagel in peace.
I'll probly have a "family dinner" some time this week with a bunch of friends.
As for now, the sun is shining, I only work for 4 hours today, and I think I'm going to paint when I get home. Sounds like a plan!

from this Minute now

I never really thought about Paris as a personal epic destination... until today. Not for the romance, not for the Tower, but just for the town. It all started with a video. A video that pretty much changed my life. It actually reminded me of Venice references from an earlier late night hangout. The video I learned is a 1979..ish shot. Yes... ONE shot. He turned on the video camera, stuck the camera on his car, and drove. Cobblestone streets, coffee shops, trucks with produce, pigeons, early morning mist...it's beautiful. All in one shot. No splicing, no dicing, no fake outs. The song is beautifully perfect in timing and length too!!! Listen carefully to the lyrics too.
Please...please enjoy as I did: Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol

Comes Before a Fall

A few days ago I was reading Wild at Heartby John Eldredge... a book about being the man that you, (Men that is) are created to be. The whole thing goes along an analogy of the hero with a battle to fight and a damsel to rescue. Anyway,I was reading some about "the Enemy" that strives to deter us from becoming the heroic men of God that we seek to be. One of his most common tactics is to convince the Christian that there is no enemy, that he isn't here.
But he is. Always present, always working.
The book talked about how he whispers thoughts and temptations, throwing us into a tizzy of confusion. Something that really spoke to me was in recognizing what thoughts were mine and what were firey darts. Also, God is not a condemner... so those thoughts of "God isn't pleased with me," or "God has become distant from me" are lies. True: sin blocks that flow of communication, but there is no good OR bad reason for God to distance Himself from someone He loves so much.
One of the cool random things Eldredge dose is make movie references. He makes alot of Gladiator and Brave Heart ones (..hmm.. wonder why?). I love it. At one point there was "discussion" in the book about wanting to be like William Wallace, " But I feel like I'm the guy back there in the fourth row, with a hoe"(142). The book goes on to talk about how in our own lives, we ARE the hero.. we ARE William Wallace, or Maximus, or Joan of Arc for that matter!! Because it is our lives, we are the protagonist.
At this point, I began to wonder what movie character would best suit me... not my looks, but my personality. An already long story short, I came to the realization of how incredibly proud I am and at the same time, extremely insecure and fearful of taking initiative in life. I was falling for Satan's schemes and thinking it was all on my shoulders, when it's not suppose to be. Mixed in with the defiant "I should be able to do this without help or advice," it is not a good place to be.
This realization made me seriously question some of the things that I was holding on to and working towards.

The first question: Is this for me or for God?
The second question: Why is it for me or God?
The third question: Are my "reasons" for doing this the true reasons?
The fourth question: Is that glorifying God?

I came away from reading, very refreshed and quite relieved to understand that half of my problems aren't because I'm a terrible person, but because I am listening to the wrong thing. I need to be grounded in Truth. The other part is that I have been ME and OTHERS focused.. instead of God focused.
I am still struggling, but looking with a brighter outlook as before.
Thank You Lord for being patient and faithful, and Thank you John Eldredge for pointing things out in a new way.

Love, Love,.. love, love, love, love

So I havn't been able to connect for some time now, and now that I officially have three other things I should be doing, as well as three other things I have to blog about, I'll do this one as a quicky for starters.
Connally tagged me recently in her ever amusing musings of a hippie
So, I'm doing as instructed and giving up 12 likes, 1 love, and 8 hates.
The rules are: include the bolded words as starters and tag three other bloggers.
That last one might be a toughey for me, but oh well.

AbRaCaDaBrA, WoW!
I LIKE boys with chivalrous tendencies,
I LIKE girls with dark wavy hair.
I like blondies with brown eyes.
I like coffee: two and a half sugars and a mushroom cloud of milk, at best.
I like watching clouds.
I like finding old letters.
I like accidentally saying the same thing at the same time.
I like late walks under stars.
I like the sound of my dad's voice from within his chest.
I like green, though I seem to have an awful lot of red (the opposite of green).
I like misspelling words on purpose.
I like getting dirty to help someone out (anybody need a well?)

I LOVE to dance: always? yes. with a partner? always.
today showed me unfinished business.
in some ways, I love everything
its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular
i like things that I like but I love everything
there's more choice in like
cause even the worst things have things you love in them
I don't know what you mean about things I hate
I hate being a disappointment.
I hate music to be interrupted.
I hate red tide.
I hate broken hearts.
I hate cowardliness but in a way, it's something I struggle with.
I hate not liking myself all the time.
I hate people who don't care and don't care to understand.
I hate missing you.
I hate this, wow...
Sorry.

...
Tags awarded to..
My Aunt Sarah, because "the boy cousins need to stick together"
Meli, if I ever have coffee needs.. I know who to call
and Connally, because just like her voicemails, She can always make me laugh.

For now I'll just leave you with these.
LOVE or HATE
take your pick.
-couraJosh 1:9-

When You Wish Upon a Star

Random, I know, but I just spent the past hour watching music videos to Disney Classics and New classics. I love listening to the songs from the movies because half the times while watching the actual film, the lyrics get lost. Those Disney composers have it made!!!

Gotta love the movies people make out of Disney clips too. Some of them are really good. One of the top ones I've found was "My Little Girl" with Cartoon movie characters.

In any case, it's nice to take strolls down memory lane to your childhood times of Saturday mornings. At 20, you don't really have that luxury anymore. But hey, who said we can't still pretend?

I'll leave you with one of my favorite old-school Disney songs. Not my favorite Disney movie by far, but in the spirit of childhood fantasy and forgotten love, enjoy.