I have a post that I started back in the middle of February, but never had time to finish.. work and all at the time. It was called "Faith, Hope, and Love".. describing all that the Lord had/has done for me at that time in the scope of growing my Faith, giving me Hope in the coming spring, and it just so happened to be around Valentines Day.. hence the Love.
Since then, "work and all" has taken its very cold and ever cycling tole on my soul. I actually feel guilty right now taking the time right now to even post this little blurp of blogging. I miss the sweet time I once called my own, but life goes on and you either get on board or get left in the dust with nothing less than fatigue and overwhelmingness... (no that's not a real word.. but you catch my drift). Funny how both of those are the very things that accompany the pursuit of keeping up with it all.
I wrote in my journal tonight for the Lord to carry me through this next week. Though there isn't much homework and I'm working almost every evening till Friday, which is crowned with a school Masquerade, I still feel hopeless to go on my own. I have this terrible tendency to rely on my own strength to "deal with it" when life gets rough because I also have this terrible tendency to not ask for help. I LOVE to help people and to serve them in any way I can, but when it comes down to my well-being, I always feel that I am just being a bother or an inconvenience to whomever might ask about it.
In complete truth, what I want the most is to Not be where I am right now. I need a break, I need some air that doesn't smell like six guys in a room, I need a care-free moment to just do what I want and not worry about the regret of "wasted time," I need time to repose my heart and mind in the Word instead of cramming it of Holy knowledge. I need sleep!!! I need sweet fellowship that isn't overshadowed by homework we all have to get done. God, I need a Spiritual renewal from YOU!
Sorry for the melancholy outlook... granted I'm tired and ready to have a break from all this Life that is going on around me. Truth always wins though. I'm being held in the arms of my Creator; an embrace that carries me through. His grace is sufficient for me... somehow. I'm not sure when, where, or how I'll be looking back at this time and tracing His Hand through it all, but I will. That is for certain.
