Happy Christmas!!
It may be the day after official Christmas Day, but since my family is celebrating on this day... well, you get my drift. Honestly, today has been the only day that it actually feels like Christmas. As you may have gathered from my last post, I wasn't really in the mood.... but that's okay because feelings change, undoubtedly.
This is a very exciting Christmas as it is a "First" for my nephew!! As well as one of my cousin El's First.
Not much changes with these family get-togethers.. which is just fine with us. The Nativity gets a new piece every year, and put in a new setting.. the tree is new of course, with at least one new ornament from family friends.The biggest addition is people! Since last Christmas we've had two additional boys, the year
It's Christmas time... okay, so what?
To most of us, Christmas time means there is no time for anything else. I realized my schedule is a lot fuller than I keep making it out to be. That's alright, but I was beginning to wonder how my relationship with God was feeling so distant when I was "doing so much" for ministry. Why was I being so drained and tired? I wondered aloud in my car as Christmas carols played on the radio of my car. I rounded the bend to glance at the mountains across the river... just thinking... What do I need to cut out?
My mind recalled my RA from my Chi-Town College home. He had a conviction to not do any kind of homework or extra stuff on Sunday afternoons. To him, this was what it meant to "Keep the Sabbath Holy". He simply relaxed. And the crazy thing was, he always seemed less stressed and more efficient time the rest of the week! Then it hit me.
TAKE TIME.
Don't be run by time and run out of it. Instead, Take time; Make time; Use the time you're given.
As the people of Israel were called to celebrate the Year of Jubilee, that is, Every Seventh Year; allowing the ground to rest from crops, the slaves set free, debts erased, and land returned to it's owner's, we are to celebrate time away from life and rest. It doesn't matter what day it is... but it does matter whether or not you take the day for what it's worth.
REST
The consequences of NOT taking time is worse than you might think. When you don't take the time, you stress, you don't sleep, you don't eat well, you burn out, you aren't filled with the replenishing encouragement you need,.... so much is missing. The Hebrews neglected to take the time and ended up in Babylonian captivity. This was the Lord's way of making a point to the people as well as making sure the land and people DID rest.
Make time for Jesus and You in this time of year. You'll be sooo glad you did... and so will He. Besides, I'm sure He misses spending time with you. It is His favorite past time of the year...month.... week... day.
So, this Christmas time... actually have it.
So I never realized that I had a bunch of old Draft posts that never made the press! Though I'm not sure what I was thinking when I started them, some I finished up and posted, while others had too little to say.. so I said nothing by deleting them.
So if there are any new words on the block, give them a gander! Maybe you'll find a new inspiration from an old dream.
Though I am small I've seen things far beyond these city walls
The land is flat and it rolls for miles
I don't know much I know I've many places yet to see
I know I've been here for a while
Wouldn't you know just when I thought I had this figured out
I'm back at my first day at school
Trying not to think too loud I raise my hand to scratch my head
I've no ideas of what to do
'Cause something's changed today
And what it is I just can't say
And if I don't seem okay, well I'm okay
(Chorus)
So sue me, sue me, if I just don't want coffee tonight
Back in this coffee house where we just met a week ago
Now we've been friends since we were young
But all our conversations are hitting walls we can't ignore
We can hide but we can't run
And I can't run from you
Or what we've run into
Now regardless what I choose, we both lose
It must be getting late
Where's my head
Where is my head
Where is my head
I still hear you telling me what a big mistake I've made
Funny that's what I've been telling you
I can lead a horse to water
You can even make him drink
But you can't change his point of view
Tonight as I was driving home I passed a coffee shop
You know I wrestled with the truth
And how I'd explain to you what you could never understand
And how I'd keep my mind from you
But that's the price I pay
Your way is not my way
Today's another day and it's okay
I think I need some rest
Rest my head, arrest my head
Rest my head, arrest my head
Rest my head, arrest my head
Apparently, according to my dear blog-writing cohort, it was C.S. Lewis' birthday last Thursday. While we were being thankful of family and other great blessings, eating Turkey and cranberry sauce, with some football and Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV, the memory of a humble yet great Saint lingered. I encourage you to leaf through so many of the great quotes my Ragamuffin friend posted in honor of the late and great, C. S. Lewis.
“He who has God and everything else has no more than he who has God only.”
ps. the Parade video is from last year, but enjoy!
Being October, I began to construct my new journal for the coming birthday next month (which apparently is only a day away!)
I'm not usually one for extensive wordage on these covers, but I thought this one was fairly appropriate as it reflects the past few months of my present life. In truth, it is a cardboard box piece that was torn out of a Starbucks mug packaging... but I liked the phrase so much, and it fit so well to my spiritual walk that I made it a centerpiece.
The bean forever remembers its birthplace:
the terraced hillsides, the equatorial rains, the lilac-blue shade of the jacaranda.
The bean eternally harbors the nurturing touch of the farmer deep within.
The bean gives back, blessing each warm cup with the mysteriously inviting flavor of its coffee-land origin.
Like I said, giving a spiritual spin on it, the "between the lines" quote might sound something like...
The Christian forever remembers its birthplace:
the terraced hillsides, the equatorial rains, the lilac-blue shade of the jacaranda.(HEAVEN)
The Christian eternally harbors the nurturing touch of the Father deep within.
The Christian gives back, blessing each passerby with the mysteriously inviting flavor of its heaven-land origin.
.... you get the idea.
It's just another way of reminding myself that no matter where I am, be it Africa, Europe, The USA or elsewhere, I am to be focused on the world I am in... pointing it to the HEAVENLY world that I am to be living for.
I am blessed to declare the birth of my second nephew! My mother arrived in time for the arrival! I can't wait to meet the little fellow over Christmas and ooohh and awwwwee over a new little life that I'm sure will bless me so much. Crazy how God sends us blessings through so much pain.
"A Little Home" -Rascal Flatts
I'm so excited about my Mom coming home from the Dark continent! I havn't seen her in over a year now. She will be here to visit me for about a week... which of course won't be long enough, but I think it will help to get me through another birthday, another Christmas, ...another year, away from them.
Undone.
That about sums it up.
Since I've been in the house a lot this week off of work, I thought I'd go out to coffee and free wifi to study my lesson for Jr. Church. I'm teaching all month and it is so exciting to be unfolding the truths of Who God Is and The First Creations of Angels. These kids are good, though a handfull, so I wanted to be sure to have a good handle on the material.
My car is in the shop so I borrowed my Aunt's. Not a bad start.
Then I got lost on the way to the bank because it was a "right" instead of a "left". I circled three times before finding it... even passing my Aunt and Uncle on the road making the loop.
(That was funny)
Got my money, and... made the wrong turn. So I looped again.
Finally making it to the cozy little spot beside the window, I come to find I LEFT MY STUDY MATERIAL!!!
Realy? Really.
So, here I sit with my large Caramel Mac killing some time and wondering what the heck I'm here for. Ya, I could go back to the empty house that I've been more-or-less stranded in and stay the night studying... but honestly, it's not going to happen.
It did make me think though.
Wow, am I lost.. Lord, I think I'm more lost than I know.. in more ways than I know.
Honestly, I'm not surprised anymore why people say
"Money makes the world go round"
I've been juggling a lot of things including car insurance, health insurance, registration, not to mention phone bill, and a couple personal expenses.
I know it will all come together somehow, but I'm just having a little bit of a crisis with this new "Adult life" thing. First time for a lot of these responsibilities and dealing with their difficulties.
Makes me wish my Dad was here to help me wade the high water.
But...
I know my Father in Heaven is here helping me out and sending good friends and family to help me get through. Money may make the world go round... but I know the One that "hung the World on nothing".. and He makes all the difference. (Job 26:7)
I have officially made roots for MYSELF!! Of course I've had roots because of family connections, but today I MADE roots. I became an official resident of my northeastern state. New License, soon to have new registration on my car.. I can't believe it.
A lot is changing in the next few days.
My best-childhood friend is heading back to college tomorrow, which is weird since I am usually the one leaving and on the road for days at a time. Now I'm the one waving good-bye as I hang pictures on the walls of what was his old room; turned my room.
I'm getting settled into work a little more with the fact that there's not even enough work to keep on the temps! Most all the seasonal help has moved on now and I'm still left pending... everyone knows I want to stay, they just have to decide now whether or not to keep me.
Am I ready for this?
Am I ready to be in this routine EVERYDAY!? I've never had this kind of "nine-to-five" job for more than a summer.
Well, Hey, whether I think I'm ready for it or not, I'm gonna learn alot so that I AM ready for it.
My grandmother has been reminding me a lot about blooming where I am planted. So I do believe it's about time I took some time to feel the sunshine on my face, breathing in some fresh air, and letting my colors show here for HIS glory for a while. I plan to grow here... I plan to grow a lot.
Why?
Because that is exactly what is going to happen whether I'm looking for it or not.
So, I was reviewing my said "GOALS" for the summer that I posted a few months ago. I had to shake my head in disappointment to see that 85% of them were not well kept. YES, I saved money... but was unable to save enough since my lack of available overtime at work changed my financial situation YES, I was preparing for Scotland... but realized that now is not the right timing for such an endeavour.
but. NO, I did not get very involved in Church ministries... except in joining that small group I mentioned earlier. NO, I did not keep this thing updated.
and though I have met a couple new families, I have not been able to really make time to spend investing.
HOWEVER...
These goals unfinished are not failures on my record. The beautiful thing is, I am able to re-coop and revitalize the opportunities. Now that I am no longer going across the pond, I find more time to get involved with ministries, dig into new acquaintances, and continue to save for school and Scotland next time.
It took me a while to decide to step out of the ministry team that was head east, but right away I had a quiet confidence and peace that it was the right decision. Of course there was an influx of encouraging words from friends and family. What's in store for the next few months is still a mystery and... that's okay.
This morning's service at church spoke of Abraham's faith.. how incredible it was that he was able to have such trust and confidence in the LORD's promises, that his son of laughter was on the sacrificial altar the very next day that Jehovah required him.
What is amazing to think about is that Abraham had seen God prove Himself over and over and over again, that the man really had no reason NOT to trust His promises.
I hope this can be a thread that characterizes my life from now on.
Somehow I know that this year is going to bring things I need to grow in and adventures that are going to make me into a greater man of God than I would have away in Scotland.
Have been encouraged by the new group study I'm in on the book called "Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships" It's starting out with a beautiful contrast between what 'Hollywood" says Love is and what God says... and how to find it with another.
Answered prayers, surprise visits from old friends, and spoken truth have all added to a week of the Lord working behind the scenes.
Here I am again, on a Saturday evening, living like there's no change from yesterday. Still getting up at 5am for work... still getting a paycheck on Fridays that's a little under $300.... still wondering where this is all heading. Yes, I am SLOWLY making progress toward my Scotland trip. No, I did not go down to my home church and visit for a couple of weeks (yet). Things have been post-pond, people are dragging their feet with information, and on top of it all, I feel like I have no time in the evenings to do anything productive. Or maybe I'm still not using my time efficiently.
I feel like I'm starving for Truth and to be fed spiritually. My mind and heart are weak to the things of the world and I have been rarely walking in the Spirit. I'm discouraged.
Honestly, I'm hating me for not getting things underway... but there's also little I can do with what I have.
Please pray that I don't get over zealous and press on harder than I have right to or need to.
In other words... pray that I patiently wait on the Lord and depend on His timing.
Waking up at 5am every day of the week can get old... and it does, but by the time I'm back from work I wonder where the day went. Praise God for the wood job I have. He is shining His light through me in that place and for that I am grateful. I may not see any conversions to Christ, but I know that there are seeds being planted and that there are people more open to Him because He has been shining through the cracks of me, a clay pot.
Time with my grandparents is precious and friends and family are dear to me as I come closer to September. I was able to make it to one of my best friend's wedding last Saturday. I am so proud of the two of them and so excited for their new life.
I am planning on heading down south to the midwest for a couple of weeks to raise some support with my family church down there. I am unsure though about how it is all going to come together with a projected $500 as a minimum for the trip. As a wise man said, take one step at a time, because that is as much as a "Light at my feet" will allow me to see for now.
As for now, Thank the Lord oh my soul, for all the things He has blessed and provided for me TODAY. He is sustaining me. As He said He would.
Where do I begin?
It's been a whirlwind, and I hardly know where I've finally landed.
From ChiTown, to the Bermuda Triangle of the northern states, then back to pack. Left School that Sunday morning, made it home in the East twelve hours later... only to go straight back there to my Bible College three days later for a cousin's grad (among other friends). A couple of nights later I found myself settling into bed at my family friend's house that has become "home" for the summer months. And now?
Working a 6-3:30 shift every week day, enjoying family and friends, and of course the summer rain... which has been pretty frequent these days.
GOALS:
Raise support for my upcoming year in across the pond in Scotland
Become better acquainted with families in my Church
Find a way to plug into my Church and minister
Save, Save, Save money... between paying doctor bills and school
.. and keep this thing updated.
So really this is just a post to say "I'm back".
Hope to see ya soon.
It's one of my favorite sweaters I own.
Nothing fantastic really, just a plain knit, charcoal gray, zip-up sweater with pockets and a wide collar. Somehow though, that sweater has evoked more compliments out of the general population than one would expect. It is for this reason many a-time that I wear said gray sweater on days that I am feeling unloved and down. It's like I'm begging for a compliment without speaking, and eight days out of ten, this is a terrific strategy for uplifted spirits.
This post however is not about my secret sweater-wearing confessions;
It's about loveliness.
The message today at Church was all of three things:
1. Spot on True
2. Hard teaching
3. Exactly what I needed to digest
In Mark 7:25 we meet a nameless though unforgettable woman.
This is the Syrophoenician woman whose daughter was possessed by an evil spirit. Don't remember yet?
This is also the woman that Jesus outright calls a DOG in front of everybody!!! Recall the situation:
24And from there he arose and went away to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And he entered a house and did not want anyone to know, yet he could not be hidden.25 But immediately a woman whose little daughter had an unclean spirit heard of him and came and fell down at his feet.26Now the woman was a Gentile, a Syrophoenician by birth. And she begged him to cast the demon out of her daughter. 27And he said to her,“Let the children befed first, for it is not right to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs.”-Mark 7:24-27 (ESV)
As is humanly natural, we look in wonder at this jab from Jesus' lips and wonder how the Loving Gentleman could dare say such a thing to someone who was obviously asking for help. He did just call her a dog without any bush-beating.
"Are you offended?" we were all asked, and so I ask you.... Are you offended? Does this stir something unpleasant inside you?...Why?
Could it be that we fear the real question: What if Jesus was standing before YOU and calledYOU a DOG?
NOW ARE YOU OFFENDED?
Again... Why?
The fact is, we are not worth the bread of Life that Christ offers. Neither you nor I are worth any Life at all. We say to ourselves,
"Well, Jesus saved me, so I must have some worth"
"True I USED to be terrible, but I have changed a lot since then."
"He doesn't mean me, I'm one of the children He's talking about"
But You Don't, You Haven't, and You're Wrong
We try to soften the Oh so painful blow to our pride and self-image that we have tried so hard to fashion for all to see. We have this incredible longing to feel worth and have importance that we make the assumption that the reason people like us, love us, notice and care at all, is because there is something in us that is lovely.
"..I mean, Why else would Jesus die on a cross for me... there must have been something He saw lovely in me, right?"
6 Forwhile we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. -Romans 5:7-8(ESV)
There was NOTHING Good about us that could possibly prod God into wanting to help us. Ever wonder why the crucifiction of Christ had to be so brutal?
.. If it was just to reconcile the world (full of lovely people of course) He could have simply died with blood shed.... it would have been enough.
Isn't that nice? Well it may be nice, but that isn't reality.
Reality says that the Wrath of God was poured out because of our iniquities on His own Son..
9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. -Romans 5:9 (ESV)
We and our "goodness" had nothing to do with it!!
It was FOR WRATH that this happened..... Reality check.
(skip to 4:00 and watch to the end)
Gruesome, yes. And that should have been YOU, Dog.
We were worthy of THAT.
So why do I go into such great detail of the fact that our sins caused such a terrible occurrence? Because it is necessary for us to realize that just because Christ died for our sins (Praise the Lord) and we have been ushered now in as sons, it doesn't make us any more lovely. Remember Paul, when speaking of his want to do the good of God, but acts out in the sinful spirit anyway, remember what he says?
Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? -Romans 7:24 (ESV)
He doesn't say "man that I was". Paul had a clear, unbiased view of his position. It is not until we wholly accept such a position that we actually understand what it means to need Jesus.
Big challenge to my heart recently... Where is my focus? And why is it my focus? Why isn't my focus, "living out Christ Life: joy, peace, patience, love, justice, service....etc." ? Lord make my heart of stone melt away and implant YOUR heart inside of this man.
Read through Luke 1:39-56 today for Devotions.
The Lord spoke to my heart in the midst of the loud and busy college Dining Room.
As Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist said to her cousin Mary, the mother of Jesus,...
"Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said will be accomplished." (vs. 56
)
Honestly, I'm worried about being up where the wind never ceases.
I know it is place for me, not because of my ability, but because of the Lord's faithful hand in directing me here. Yet I am so unsettled... why?
I am here. I am learning. I am adjusting. I am growing.
I am trying.
What it comes down to is that I want to hear the voice of my God in a special way.
I want to KNOW and not suppose. I want to BE and not just seem.
I want to TRUST without DOUBT.
Zechariah was struck silent because of his doubt, and low and behold, what the Lord said happened regardless! But I don't want to have to deal with consequences like that... I want to be as Mary, and truly believe!!!
Lord, I want to hear Your voice.
Lord, I want to hear Your voice.
Lord, I want to hear only
Your voice
only
Your voice
ONLY, only Your voice.
Just because I'm still a single young college student, doesn't mean I can't make a stand TODAY about how I am going to lead my family and my home. Start today and tomorrow will be easier.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Wow.. 2012. Who would have thunk it!
A new year with new adventures already under way. For me, this rising sun brings a city skyline silhouette. Classes start up soon for me in the Windy City and I am very much looking forward to it. As it turns out, this is becoming my first step into the real world as an adult man. I know I've been "an adult" according to age for a few years now, but feeling like a responsible adult is another thing.. and it's starting to set in. I'm really on my own on this one... with the Almighty at my side of course. If it weren't for His provision, I wouldn't be stepping into this new realm of life at all. Praise Him for the road ahead... even if you don't know what that path looks like, because you can be assured that it is going to turn out for YOUR BEST. Because God never works things out for anything less.
Not much changes with these family get-togethers.. which is just fine with us. The Nativity gets a new piece every year, and put in a new setting.. the tree is new of course, with at least one new ornament from family friends.The biggest addition is people! Since last Christmas we've had two additional boys, the year
