Across the Table

That moment you realize you know the kid who just walked in the coffee shop, but it's been  so long since you've even spoken... let alone the likelihood of the two of you meeting up again.. 

The debate begins:

To speak or not to speak?

It has been over two years... would he even remember you?

The times you did hang out with him were few but sweet and have become warm memories that are dearly held. Yet, there is no reason why he should feel the same. 

You prayed he would grow to be a good man, a strong man, a Godly man. 

The life place he was at last you heard was a hard one 

he was just a kid then..

He seems happy now.. thats good.

Still hasn't seen you.. would he even recognize you if he does. 

The Answer is no.

There it is. 

Gone without ever knowing how things turned about.

So the separate lives of the present go on while the memories of  friendship past grow another shade dimmer.

And still the prayers go on

Got Dirt?

I'm reposting this post from The Ragamuffin I follow.. Thanks Nicole

 From Messy Spirituality by Mike Yaconelli: 

For a period of time, I was lucky enough to have a housekeeper. She would come in once a week to dust, vacuum, and clean every out-of-the-way corner of my house. I dreaded the day she came, because my wife and I would spend all morning cleaning the house for the housekeeper! We didn’t want the house to be dirty, or what would the housekeeper think?

We act the same way with God. We talk our way out of the spiritual life by refusing to come to God as we are. Instead, we decide to wait until we are ready to come to God as we aren’t. We decide that the way we lived yesterday, last week, or last year makes us “damaged goods” and that until we start living “right” we’re not “God material.” Some of us actually believe that until we choose the correct way to live, we aren’t chooseable, that until we clean up the mess, Jesus won’t have anything to do with us. The opposite is true. Until we admit we are a mess, Jesus won’t have anything to do with us.

Once we admit how unlovely we are, how unattractive we are, how lost we are, Jesus shows up unexpectedly. According to the Gospels, Jesus is attracted to the unattractive. He prefers the lost ones over the found ones, the losers over the winners, the broken instead of the whole, the messy instead of the unmessy, the crippled instead of the noncrippled.

Art and Praise

David Garibaldi does a beautiful job of bringing the arts of music, dance, and painting together in a worshipful way. I kinda wanna try doing this sometime, to a smaller scale.
Love it.

Happy Day after Christmas

Happy Christmas!!
It may be the day after official Christmas Day, but since my family is celebrating on this day... well, you get my drift. Honestly, today has been the only day that it actually feels like Christmas. As you may have gathered from my last post, I wasn't really in the mood.... but that's okay because feelings change, undoubtedly.
This is a very exciting Christmas as it is a "First" for my nephew!! As well as one of my cousin El's First.

Not much changes with these family get-togethers.. which is just fine with us. The Nativity gets a new piece every year, and put in a new setting.. the tree is new of course, with at least one new ornament from family friends.The biggest addition is people! Since last Christmas we've had two additional boys, the year

 before that we had another boy for his First.

It's gonna be a great Day!

Holy Sabbath

It's Christmas time... okay, so what?
To most of us, Christmas time means there is no time for anything else. I realized my schedule is a lot fuller than I keep making it out to be. That's alright, but I was beginning to wonder how my relationship with God was feeling so distant when I was "doing so much" for ministry. Why was I being so drained and tired? I wondered aloud in my car as Christmas carols played on the radio of my car. I rounded the bend to glance at the mountains across the river... just thinking... What do I need to cut out?
My mind recalled my RA from my Chi-Town College home. He had a conviction to not do any kind of homework or extra stuff on Sunday afternoons. To him, this was what it meant to "Keep the Sabbath Holy". He simply relaxed. And the crazy thing was, he always seemed less stressed and more efficient time the rest of the week! Then it hit me.
TAKE TIME.
Don't be run by time and run out of it. Instead, Take time; Make time; Use the time you're given.
As the people of Israel were called to celebrate the Year of Jubilee, that is, Every Seventh Year; allowing the ground to rest from crops, the slaves set free, debts erased, and land returned to it's owner's, we are to celebrate time away from life and rest. It doesn't matter what day it is... but it does matter whether or not you take the day for what it's worth.
REST
The consequences of NOT taking time is worse than you might think. When you don't take the time, you stress, you don't sleep, you don't eat well, you burn out, you aren't filled with the replenishing encouragement you need,.... so much is missing. The Hebrews neglected to take the time and ended up in Babylonian captivity. This was the Lord's way of making a point to the people as well as making sure the land and people DID rest.
Make time for Jesus and You in this time of year. You'll be sooo glad you did... and so will He. Besides, I'm sure He misses spending time with you. It is His favorite past time of the year...month.... week... day.
So, this Christmas time... actually have it.

CHRIST    MAS (more) TIME

Old & New

So I never realized that I had a bunch of old Draft posts that never made the press! Though I'm not sure what I was thinking when I started them, some I finished up and posted, while others had too little to say.. so I said nothing by deleting them.
So if there are any new words on the block, give them a gander! Maybe you'll find a new inspiration from an old dream.

Sue me.

Though I am small I've seen things far beyond these city walls
The land is flat and it rolls for miles
I don't know much I know I've many places yet to see
I know I've been here for a while
Wouldn't you know just when I thought I had this figured out
I'm back at my first day at school
Trying not to think too loud I raise my hand to scratch my head
I've no ideas of what to do
'Cause something's changed today
And what it is I just can't say
And if I don't seem okay, well I'm okay

(Chorus)
So sue me, sue me, if I just don't want coffee tonight
Back in this coffee house where we just met a week ago
Now we've been friends since we were young
But all our conversations are hitting walls we can't ignore
We can hide but we can't run
And I can't run from you
Or what we've run into
Now regardless what I choose, we both lose
 
It must be getting late
Where's my head
Where is my head
Where is my head

I still hear you telling me what a big mistake I've made
Funny that's what I've been telling you
I can lead a horse to water
You can even make him drink
But you can't change his point of view
Tonight as I was driving home I passed a coffee shop
You know I wrestled with the truth
And how I'd explain to you what you could never understand
And how I'd keep my mind from you
But that's the price I pay
Your way is not my way
Today's another day and it's okay
 
I think I need some rest
Rest my head, arrest my head
Rest my head, arrest my head
Rest my head, arrest my head
 

Belated, but...

Apparently, according to my dear blog-writing cohort, it was C.S. Lewis' birthday last Thursday. While we were being thankful of family and other great blessings, eating Turkey and cranberry sauce, with some football and Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV, the memory of a humble yet great Saint lingered. I encourage you to leaf through so many of the great quotes my Ragamuffin friend posted in honor of the late and great, C. S. Lewis.

“He who has God and everything else has no more than he who has God only.”

ps. the Parade video is from last year, but enjoy!

MADE IN...

Being October, I began to construct my new journal for the coming birthday next month (which apparently is only a day away!)
I'm not usually one for extensive wordage on these covers, but I thought this one was fairly appropriate as it reflects the past few months of my present life. In truth, it is a cardboard box piece that was torn out of a Starbucks mug packaging... but I liked the phrase so much, and it fit so well to my spiritual walk that I made it a centerpiece.

The bean forever remembers its birthplace:

           the terraced hillsides, the equatorial rains, the lilac-blue shade of the jacaranda.

        The bean eternally harbors the nurturing touch of the farmer deep within.

                The bean gives back, blessing each warm cup with the mysteriously inviting flavor of its coffee-land origin.

 Like I said, giving a spiritual spin on it, the "between the lines" quote might sound something like...

The Christian forever remembers its birthplace:

           the terraced hillsides, the equatorial rains, the lilac-blue shade of the jacaranda.  (HEAVEN)

        The Christian eternally harbors the nurturing touch of the Father deep within.

                The Christian gives back, blessing each passerby with the mysteriously inviting flavor of its heaven-land origin.

.... you get the idea.

It's just another way of reminding myself that no matter where I am, be it  Africa, Europe, The USA or elsewhere, I am to be focused on the world I am in... pointing it to the HEAVENLY world that I am to be living for.

One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful (5 Piano Guys, 1 piano) - ThePi...

I love this song and LOVE this rendition... so great.

Uncle ME

I am blessed to declare the birth of my second nephew! My mother arrived in time for the arrival! I can't wait to meet the little fellow over Christmas and ooohh and awwwwee over a new little life that I'm sure will bless me so much. Crazy how God sends us blessings through so much pain.

Homecoming...

"A Little Home" -Rascal Flatts
I'm so excited about my Mom coming home from the Dark continent! I havn't seen her in over a year now. She will be here to visit me for about a week... which of course won't be long enough, but I think it will help to get me through another birthday, another Christmas, ...another year, away from them.

Recalculating

Undone.
That about sums it up.
Since I've been in the house a lot this week off of work, I thought I'd go out to coffee and free wifi to study my lesson for Jr. Church. I'm teaching all month and it is so exciting to be unfolding the truths of Who God Is and The First Creations of Angels. These kids are good, though a handfull, so I wanted to be sure to have a good handle on the material.
My car is in the shop so I borrowed my Aunt's. Not a bad start.
Then I got lost on the way to the bank because it was a "right" instead of a "left". I circled three times before finding it... even passing my Aunt and Uncle on the road making the loop.
(That was funny)
Got my money, and... made the wrong turn. So I looped again.
Finally making it to the cozy little spot beside the window, I come to find I LEFT MY STUDY MATERIAL!!!
Realy? Really.
So, here I sit with my large Caramel Mac killing some time and wondering what the heck I'm here for. Ya, I could go back to the empty house that I've been more-or-less stranded in and stay the night studying... but honestly, it's not going to happen.
It did make me think though.

Wow, am I lost.. Lord, I think I'm more lost than I know.. in more ways than I know.

Round and Round we go

Honestly, I'm not surprised anymore why people say

  "Money makes the world go round"

I've been juggling a lot of things including car insurance, health insurance, registration, not to mention phone bill, and a couple personal expenses.
I know it will all come together somehow, but I'm just having a little bit of a crisis with this new "Adult life" thing. First time for a lot of these responsibilities and dealing with their difficulties.
Makes me wish my Dad was here to help me wade the high water.
But...
 I know my Father in Heaven is here helping me out and sending good friends and family to help me get through.
Money may make the world go round... but I know the One that "hung the World on nothing".. and He makes all the difference. (Job 26:7)

Sinking in

Wow... who would of thunk it?

I have officially made roots for MYSELF!! Of course I've had roots because of family connections, but today I MADE roots. I became an official resident of my northeastern state. New License, soon to have new registration on my car.. I can't believe it.
 A lot is changing in the next few days.
 My best-childhood friend is heading back to college tomorrow, which is weird since I am usually the one leaving and on the road for days at a time. Now I'm the one waving good-bye as I hang pictures on the walls of what was his old room; turned my room. I'm getting settled into work a little more with the fact that there's not even enough work to keep on the temps! Most all the seasonal help has moved on now and I'm still left pending... everyone knows I want to stay, they just have to decide now whether or not to keep me.
Am I ready for this?
 Am I ready to be in this routine EVERYDAY!? I've never had this kind of "nine-to-five" job for more than a summer. Well, Hey, whether I think I'm ready for it or not, I'm gonna learn alot so that I AM ready for it. My grandmother has been reminding me a lot about blooming where I am planted. So I do believe it's about time I took some time to feel the sunshine on my face, breathing in some fresh air, and letting my colors show here for HIS glory for a while. I plan to grow here... I plan to grow a lot. Why?
 Because that is exactly what is going to happen whether I'm looking for it or not.

A New Wind Blowing

So, I was reviewing my said "GOALS" for the summer that I posted a few months ago. I had to shake my head in disappointment to see that 85% of them were not well kept.
YES, I saved money... but was unable to save enough since my lack of available overtime at work changed my financial situation
YES, I was preparing for Scotland... but realized that now is not the right timing for such an endeavour.

but.
 NO, I did not get very involved in Church ministries... except in joining that small group I mentioned earlier.
NO, I did not keep this thing updated.
and though I have met a couple new families, I have not been able to really make time to spend investing.

HOWEVER...

    These goals unfinished are not failures on my record. The beautiful thing is, I am able to re-coop and revitalize the opportunities. Now that I am no longer going across the pond, I find more time to get involved with ministries, dig into new acquaintances, and continue to save for school and Scotland next time.

It took me a while to decide to step out of the ministry team that was head east, but right away I had a quiet confidence and peace that it was the right decision. Of course there was an influx of encouraging words from friends and family. What's in store for the next few months is still a mystery and... that's okay.
This morning's service at church spoke of Abraham's faith.. how incredible it was that he was able to have such trust and confidence in the LORD's promises, that his son of laughter was on the sacrificial altar the very next day that Jehovah required him.
What is amazing to think about is that Abraham had seen God prove Himself over and over and over again, that the man really had no reason NOT to trust His promises.
I hope this can be a thread that characterizes my life from now on.
Somehow I know that this year is going to bring things I need to grow in and adventures that are going to make me into a greater man of God than I would have away in Scotland.

A Smile

Have been encouraged by the new group study I'm in on the book called "Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships" It's starting out with a beautiful contrast between what 'Hollywood" says Love is and what God says... and how to find it with another.
Answered prayers, surprise visits from old friends, and spoken truth have all added to a week of the Lord working behind the scenes.

Slowly moving on..

Here I am again, on a Saturday evening, living like there's no change from yesterday. Still getting up at 5am for work... still getting a paycheck on Fridays that's a little under $300.... still wondering where this is all heading. Yes, I am SLOWLY making progress toward my Scotland trip. No, I did not go down to my home church and visit for a couple of weeks (yet). Things have been post-pond, people are dragging their feet with information, and on top of it all, I feel like I have no time in the evenings to do anything productive. Or maybe I'm still not using my time efficiently.
I feel like I'm starving for Truth and to be fed spiritually. My mind and heart are weak to the things of the world and I have been rarely walking in the Spirit. I'm discouraged.
Honestly, I'm hating me for not getting things underway... but there's also little I can do with what I have.
Please pray that I don't get over zealous and press on harder than I have right to or need to.
In other words... pray that I patiently wait on the Lord and depend on His timing.

Day by Day

Waking up at 5am every day of the week can get old... and it does, but by the time I'm back from work I wonder where the day went. Praise God for the wood job I have. He is shining His light through me in that place and for that I am grateful. I may not see any conversions to Christ, but I know that there are seeds being planted and that there are people more open to Him because He has been shining through the cracks of me, a clay pot.
Time with my grandparents is precious and friends and family are dear to me as I come closer to September. I was able to make it to one of my best friend's wedding last Saturday. I am so proud of the two of them and so excited for their new life.
I am planning on heading down south to the midwest for a couple of weeks to raise some support with my family church down there. I am unsure though about how it is all going to come together with a projected $500 as a minimum for the trip. As a wise man said, take one step at a time, because that is as much as a "Light at my feet" will allow me to see for now.
As for now, Thank the Lord oh my soul, for all the things He has blessed and provided for me TODAY. He is sustaining me. As He said He would.

The Eaglet has Landed... Barely

Where do I begin?
It's been a whirlwind, and I hardly know where I've finally landed.

From ChiTown, to the Bermuda Triangle of the northern states, then back to pack. Left School that Sunday morning, made it home in the East twelve hours later... only to go straight back there to my Bible College three days later for a cousin's grad (among other friends). A couple of nights later I found myself settling into bed at my family friend's house that has become "home" for the summer months. And now?
Working a 6-3:30 shift every week day, enjoying family and friends, and of course the summer rain... which has been pretty frequent these days.

GOALS:

• Raise support for my upcoming year in across the pond in Scotland
• Become better acquainted with families in my Church
• Find a way to plug into my Church and minister
• Save, Save, Save money... between paying doctor bills and school
• .. and keep this thing updated.

So really this is just a post to say "I'm back".
Hope to see ya soon.