Sinking in

Wow... who would of thunk it?

I have officially made roots for MYSELF!! Of course I've had roots because of family connections, but today I MADE roots. I became an official resident of my northeastern state. New License, soon to have new registration on my car.. I can't believe it.
 A lot is changing in the next few days.
 My best-childhood friend is heading back to college tomorrow, which is weird since I am usually the one leaving and on the road for days at a time. Now I'm the one waving good-bye as I hang pictures on the walls of what was his old room; turned my room. I'm getting settled into work a little more with the fact that there's not even enough work to keep on the temps! Most all the seasonal help has moved on now and I'm still left pending... everyone knows I want to stay, they just have to decide now whether or not to keep me.
Am I ready for this?
 Am I ready to be in this routine EVERYDAY!? I've never had this kind of "nine-to-five" job for more than a summer. Well, Hey, whether I think I'm ready for it or not, I'm gonna learn alot so that I AM ready for it. My grandmother has been reminding me a lot about blooming where I am planted. So I do believe it's about time I took some time to feel the sunshine on my face, breathing in some fresh air, and letting my colors show here for HIS glory for a while. I plan to grow here... I plan to grow a lot. Why?
 Because that is exactly what is going to happen whether I'm looking for it or not.

A New Wind Blowing

So, I was reviewing my said "GOALS" for the summer that I posted a few months ago. I had to shake my head in disappointment to see that 85% of them were not well kept.
YES, I saved money... but was unable to save enough since my lack of available overtime at work changed my financial situation
YES, I was preparing for Scotland... but realized that now is not the right timing for such an endeavour.

but.
 NO, I did not get very involved in Church ministries... except in joining that small group I mentioned earlier.
NO, I did not keep this thing updated.
and though I have met a couple new families, I have not been able to really make time to spend investing.

HOWEVER...

    These goals unfinished are not failures on my record. The beautiful thing is, I am able to re-coop and revitalize the opportunities. Now that I am no longer going across the pond, I find more time to get involved with ministries, dig into new acquaintances, and continue to save for school and Scotland next time.

It took me a while to decide to step out of the ministry team that was head east, but right away I had a quiet confidence and peace that it was the right decision. Of course there was an influx of encouraging words from friends and family. What's in store for the next few months is still a mystery and... that's okay.
This morning's service at church spoke of Abraham's faith.. how incredible it was that he was able to have such trust and confidence in the LORD's promises, that his son of laughter was on the sacrificial altar the very next day that Jehovah required him.
What is amazing to think about is that Abraham had seen God prove Himself over and over and over again, that the man really had no reason NOT to trust His promises.
I hope this can be a thread that characterizes my life from now on.
Somehow I know that this year is going to bring things I need to grow in and adventures that are going to make me into a greater man of God than I would have away in Scotland.

A Smile

Have been encouraged by the new group study I'm in on the book called "Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships" It's starting out with a beautiful contrast between what 'Hollywood" says Love is and what God says... and how to find it with another.
Answered prayers, surprise visits from old friends, and spoken truth have all added to a week of the Lord working behind the scenes.

Slowly moving on..

Here I am again, on a Saturday evening, living like there's no change from yesterday. Still getting up at 5am for work... still getting a paycheck on Fridays that's a little under $300.... still wondering where this is all heading. Yes, I am SLOWLY making progress toward my Scotland trip. No, I did not go down to my home church and visit for a couple of weeks (yet). Things have been post-pond, people are dragging their feet with information, and on top of it all, I feel like I have no time in the evenings to do anything productive. Or maybe I'm still not using my time efficiently.
I feel like I'm starving for Truth and to be fed spiritually. My mind and heart are weak to the things of the world and I have been rarely walking in the Spirit. I'm discouraged.
Honestly, I'm hating me for not getting things underway... but there's also little I can do with what I have.
Please pray that I don't get over zealous and press on harder than I have right to or need to.
In other words... pray that I patiently wait on the Lord and depend on His timing.

Day by Day

Waking up at 5am every day of the week can get old... and it does, but by the time I'm back from work I wonder where the day went. Praise God for the wood job I have. He is shining His light through me in that place and for that I am grateful. I may not see any conversions to Christ, but I know that there are seeds being planted and that there are people more open to Him because He has been shining through the cracks of me, a clay pot.
Time with my grandparents is precious and friends and family are dear to me as I come closer to September. I was able to make it to one of my best friend's wedding last Saturday. I am so proud of the two of them and so excited for their new life.
I am planning on heading down south to the midwest for a couple of weeks to raise some support with my family church down there. I am unsure though about how it is all going to come together with a projected $500 as a minimum for the trip. As a wise man said, take one step at a time, because that is as much as a "Light at my feet" will allow me to see for now.
As for now, Thank the Lord oh my soul, for all the things He has blessed and provided for me TODAY. He is sustaining me. As He said He would.

The Eaglet has Landed... Barely

Where do I begin?
It's been a whirlwind, and I hardly know where I've finally landed.

From ChiTown, to the Bermuda Triangle of the northern states, then back to pack. Left School that Sunday morning, made it home in the East twelve hours later... only to go straight back there to my Bible College three days later for a cousin's grad (among other friends). A couple of nights later I found myself settling into bed at my family friend's house that has become "home" for the summer months. And now?
Working a 6-3:30 shift every week day, enjoying family and friends, and of course the summer rain... which has been pretty frequent these days.

GOALS:

• Raise support for my upcoming year in across the pond in Scotland
• Become better acquainted with families in my Church
• Find a way to plug into my Church and minister
• Save, Save, Save money... between paying doctor bills and school
• .. and keep this thing updated.

So really this is just a post to say "I'm back".
Hope to see ya soon.

Beauty Beyond me

I have this sweater....

It's one of my favorite sweaters I own.
Nothing fantastic really, just a plain knit, charcoal gray, zip-up sweater with pockets and a wide collar. Somehow though, that sweater has evoked more compliments out of the general population than one would expect. It is for this reason many a-time that I wear said gray sweater on days that I am feeling unloved and down. It's like I'm begging for a compliment without speaking, and eight days out of ten, this is a terrific strategy for uplifted spirits.


This post however is not about my secret sweater-wearing confessions; It's about loveliness.

The message today at Church was all of three things:
1. Spot on True
2. Hard teaching
3. Exactly what I needed to digest

In Mark 7:25 we meet a nameless though unforgettable woman.
This is the Syrophoenician woman whose daughter was possessed by an evil spirit. Don't remember yet?
This is also the woman that Jesus outright calls a DOG in front of everybody!!! Recall the situation:

²⁴ And from there he arose and went away to the region of Tyre and Sidon. And he entered a house and did not want anyone to know, yet he could not be hidden. ²⁵ But immediately a woman whose little daughter had an unclean spirit heard of him and came and fell down at his feet. ²⁶Now the woman was a Gentile, a Syrophoenician by birth. And she begged him to cast the demon out of her daughter. ²⁷ And he said to her, “Let the children be fed first, for it is not right to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs.” -Mark 7:24-27 (ESV)

As is humanly natural, we look in wonder at this jab from Jesus' lips and wonder how the Loving Gentleman could dare say such a thing to someone who was obviously asking for help. He did just call her a dog without any bush-beating.
"Are you offended?" we were all asked, and so I ask you.... Are you offended? Does this stir something unpleasant inside you?...Why?
Could it be that we fear the real question: What if Jesus was standing before YOU and called YOU a DOG?

NOW ARE YOU OFFENDED?

 Again... Why?

The fact is, we are not worth the bread of Life that Christ offers. Neither you nor I are worth any Life at all. We say to ourselves, 

"Well, Jesus saved me, so I must have some worth"

"True I USED to be terrible, but I have changed a lot since then."

"He doesn't mean me, I'm one of the children He's talking about"

But You Don't, You Haven't, and You're Wrong

We try to soften the Oh so painful blow to our pride and self-image that we have tried so hard to fashion for all to see. We have this incredible longing to feel worth and have importance that we make the assumption that the reason people like us, love us, notice and care at all, is because there is something in us that is lovely.

"..I mean, Why else would Jesus die on a cross for me... there must have been something He saw lovely in me, right?"

 ⁶ For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— ⁸ but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. -Romans 5:7-8(ESV)

courtesy

There was NOTHING Good about us that could possibly prod God into wanting to help us. Ever wonder why the crucifiction of Christ had to be so brutal?
.. If it was just to reconcile the world (full of lovely people of course) He could have simply died with blood shed.... it would have been enough.

Isn't that nice? Well it may be nice, but that isn't reality.
Reality says that the Wrath of God was poured out because of our iniquities on His own Son..

⁹ Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. ¹⁰ For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. -Romans 5:9 (ESV)

We and our "goodness" had nothing to do with it!!
It was FOR WRATH that this happened..... Reality check.
(skip to 4:00 and watch to the end)


Gruesome, yes. And that should have been YOU, Dog.
We were worthy of THAT.

So why do I go into such great detail of the fact that our sins caused such a terrible occurrence? Because it is necessary for us to realize that just because Christ died for our sins (Praise the Lord) and we have been ushered now in as sons, it doesn't make us any more lovely. Remember Paul, when speaking of his want to do the good of God, but acts out in the sinful spirit anyway, remember what he says?

Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? -Romans 7:24 (ESV)

He doesn't say "man that I was". Paul had a clear, unbiased view of his position. It is not until we wholly accept such a position that we actually understand what it means to need Jesus. 

to be continued...