I Loved Her

Green is my favorite color. Hands-down.
It really fits my personality as a matter of fact.
It's peaceful/soothing.. or so say the hospitals.. which I like to be.
It's always related to life and new beginnings.. which I've had both of.
It's the color of grass... which I love to walk barefoot through (even though I'm slightly allergic).
It's the color of "chill"... the sun gleaming through the leaves into your hammock of a home.
....I don't wear a lot of green, but when I do, it makes me feel very comfortable and ME.
the funny thing is that I first started liking the color green because my sister did. ((Shout out to ya El... love ya tons. You're my hero!))
Besides all that though... there are always those slight twinges of pain in my heart about "green."
It's not the crazy tree-huggers movement...every one has a passion.
It's not the weird green pancakes I never want to taste again... my mom will never live that one down.

..."it reminds me"

It's that land of always green and never winter.... "of everything we did"








It's this soft and warming green around by body.... "of everything we said"








It's those green eyes that haunt me in my memories.... "it rushes through my head it finds me, close to you."

Exert from Devotions cont....

As I read over the same passage today: Titus 2:11-13... again contemplating how it is that Grace might be a teacher of rejection toward ungodliness and the lusts of this world. As I inquired of God I felt a strong yearning to ask my roommates about it. Both Neil and Patty seemed quite engrossed in their own studying and I didn't want to interrupt. The Spirit began to debate with me.

"It is good for iron to strengthen iron."
...but they're reading.. trying to have a good communion with You.
"I'm teaching them, but they can always come back to it."
...I don't want to intrude...
"The book Neil is reading will have good insight ON YOUR QUESTION."

In the end, it came down to how annoyed with myself I would feel if I rejected the prompting... So I asked them.

Of course, the book Neil was reading had everything to do with the question. Just as I had asked the question he read this sentence out of "Disciplined by Grace" by J.F. Strombeck.

"Grace also teaches us to deny worldly lusts."

It was a total God intervention and preparation. We discussed the different things that Grace truly means besides just being merciful with difficult people, as well as things they had been learning in classes about having full provision of all needs through Him via grace.
Later Neil read this passage from Strombeck:

The disciple of grace brings to the mind and soul the goodness and beauty of God and the riches of His grace; the pleasures, preferment, honor and wealth of the world lose their glamour. They are seen as temporal in contrast to the eternal values of God. The believer who realizes that through grace, and grace alone, he has been saved out of the lost and condemned world unto an indescribably glorious eternity with God sets his affection on things above--not on things of this earth. It is the work of grace to create and sustain this attitude.
Ethics can teach men to deny the dishonest, immoral, and debased things of this world; but grace alone can teach the believer to deny himself the beautiful, attractive, and pleasant things with which God is not identified

So, I've found that Grace teaches us to say "NO" to ungodliness very simply by being apart of God's love story. Grace has given us full provision through His love and salvation of us... full provision to live God-like because of our salvation through Christ. Therefore conviction comes to us by the Holy Spirit that indwells us from the day we confess our dependency on Christ. That conviction tells us those things we ought not to do or be. That full provision continues to give us the strength to reject those temptations that come up so often. If we are fully aware of that provision and focus on that Love that God so richly gives, the wonderful blessings He bestows, His beauty, and His Almighty power, then we will not desire those sins because of our total awe of Him.

Exert from Devotions

Titus 2 [NIV]
(11) For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. (12) It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age,…

Grace… the Webster definition of grace (as pertaining to spiritual application) is as follows

11. Theo a) the unmerited love and favor of God toward mankind b) divine influence acting in a person to make the person pure, morally strong, etc. c) the condition of a person brought to God’s favor through this influence d) a special virtue, gift, or help given to a person by God.

I see how the second part of this definition of Grace can pertain to the scripture given… but my question is:
How does grace teach us to resist our flesh?

Is it a sense of obligation that draws us to godliness? (i.e.) God saved me so to thank Him I want to be good.

…………..to be continued..

In Chaos and Pain

The Long journey has come to an end, and yet it is only beginning.
Coming up to the school at a quarter past ten Friday night was a fulfilling moment. Having many miles behind, along with a blown tire, gas money, and a "Pay it forward" opportunity, the trip and all the happenings before it were just one big post-it note from God saying

I'm STILL here.

It took me two days to get everything in its proper place, but I finally got fully moved in. I have plenty of brothers in the room with me (six to be exact)so I was trying hard to keep everything condensed in my desk and under my bed. I'm likin' the roomies so far. We're all very different, but it is awesome to know that we are all family in Him.
Did a lot of errands and orientation meetings today, so I'm pretty peopled out. But I'm seriously considering a good run on the treadmill before bed. That way I can still be "with" people... er.. watching them from above as they play soccer... Just not so surrounded. I wish I still had my Tenth Avenue North music. They were always my favorite running companions.
Then it's off to the showers that I cleaned earlier this afternoon. 7:15 comes earlier than you expect it.


..."I'm still here"...

Five Days

Working late hours after starting work in the early hours of the day...
Stepping over boxes and memories, books and clothes, duffel bags and shoes in the slow packing...
Phone-tag never ends along with facebook messages and e-mails from who, on the whens and wheres we should hang out...
Painting projects gathering anything but paint, awaiting completion...
....
Prayer? God? Peace? Somehow, even when I'm thinking about it all at once He is there telling me like I've told so many before...

It'll be okay.

Just to make you smile

Just a few vids to make someone smile.

Look for the Lesson

The day began better than it ended.. bittersweet though it was.
I spent the last hour of a little brother’s time before his departure for college hanging out and helping him pack-up last minute items. I enjoyed seeing him at the end, because I feel like I’m seeing him off to a new beginning. I’m scared for him, but also very excited that this is a new slate. Opportunities come both good and not so good.. both with choices for wise and not so wise decisions. Here’s to prayer that his heart will follow his Father’s Heart. He was the last participant to my era of the youth group back in school days, and now he’s off to college. I’m really hoping to have times to visit him and go to some of his games if my breaks allowed.
The rest of the day consisted of forgotten wallets, missed phone call opportunities, wasted gas to a check-up that couldn’t be done, and a day at work that left me babysitting seven kids because of people’s ignorance and miscommunications.
My ministry Bible study was okay, though not as “Bible filled” as I may have liked it to be, but the boy and I enjoyed some games and relationship building. I’m sad to say I’m leaving him a week or so to get on to my own schooling up North.
Through it all, the Lord gave me strength to press on and to praise Him still.

T. A. M.

Just for the record, I LOVE MY PARENTS!!!
Friday is their 27th wedding anniversary. I am so proud of them and so grateful for the beautiful marraige that they have displayed, though it hasn't been easy. Such a rock to stand on and model for me to look at when my day finally comes.

Plus, they're just so darn cute with my dad at 6'4" and my mom 5' even, watching them hug is adorable... makes my heart happy every time.
I'm gonna miss them when they leave the country for life.
This is Their song..enjoy

Autumn Overhaul

So... I think the people around here are trying to quicken the seasons. It was terrible. I was driving home from a long day at work, not really paying attention until I was about to pull into my parking spot and was greeted by a mass of decapitated tree limbs!!! I guess it was just time to cut them back, but I think someone got a little zealouse over the whole thing. Glad I'm leaving soon, that way I can blissfully ignore the change. Just another change, just another reminder that this place is not my home.